“The wing structure of the hornet, in relation to his weight, is not suitable for flight. But he does not know this event and flies anyway”. Probably you already heard or read this sentence, somewhere. It’s commonly used in order to give strength to people. Especially when life shows us its darkest shades. When we talk about the acceptance of a disease, we all prend to be hornets. By the way, are we sure that this is a helpful way to react?
Acceptance of a disease: why are we missing the point?
“So none told you life was gonna be this way”. Do you remember this jingle? If you’re a fan of the famous television series “Friends”, you surely do. Even if you read this words by singing in your mind, try to focus on them. They describe reality. We come to this world. No matter how, when or why. None of us decided to be alive. We just take life for what it is. Sometimes we relate to it. We love it. On the other hand, we pretend to like it. Maybe in order not to feel our burning wounds. As we grow older, our dreams and expectations begin to deal with ordinary life. They may come true or not. Because this is just the way it goes.
None told us, when we were moving our first steps on this planet, that our life was gonna be this way. And when the words “This way” include a situation of illness, things get even harder. When people talk about how to face a disease situation, the result is frequently a series of stereotypes and misbeliefs. People often think that, in order to accept a pathology, we have to love ourselvs. They associate the word “Acceptance” with the term “Love”. As if the first one could not exist without the following one. However, the truth is different. There are a lot of shades that never come out. Maybe because they’re usally considered hard to process and accept. So, let’s check them out.
Key word: consciousness
“Out of sight, out of mind”. That’s what people often say. The problem is, this phrase is surely overrated. We have some situation in which these words simply can’t work. Ignoring a determinate issue, does not represent a solution. Quite the opposite, it adds fuel to the fire. So, how to proceed? First of all, don’t close your eyes. Don’t shut your mouth. Don’deny what you think and the way you feel. Focus on yourself. On your life. On the way you’re living on this Earth.
You’ll surely notice many shades. You’ll find out that, due to your disease, some part of existence don’t fit with your wishes and expectations. As we said before, don’t ignore them. Concentrate yourself on them. Look them in the eyes. Knwing your limits will be the key to overcome these obstacles. Life is brutal. And we all aim to happiness. By the way, happiness is just a state of mind. A parte of our life path. And it’s partly thanks to the darkest shades of existence, if we conquire it.
Feel free to talk about it
And not to talk about it as well. People seem to be diveded between two opposite attitudes. Someone asserts that speaking “Filters free” about a disease is one of the best way to heal. This can be true for some persons. It’s just that: we’re all different. Every sick person should feel free to choose. Choose with whom talking about it. When. And, most important point: if. Silence is a double-edged sword. It can be your nest. Your refugee. Or your worse enemy. A trap so hard to escape from. In some cases, it can be both. You have to choose when and why leave it. On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong in deciding to stay silent. It could take time to get out from the closet. A psychotherapeutic intervention could help you dealing with your thoughts.
The acceptance of a disease makes you embrace your emotions
Here’s another popular sterotype of our society. When we talk about accepting a certain illness situation, we acclaim strength. We encourage people to be brave. To show a big smile on their faces. We use the term “heroes” to describe persons who are striving to live. The fact is: strength is something that comes from the inside. We learn how to be strong, in order to survive. In order to face difficulties. By the way, pain is part of us. Overall, when a disease starts to gain the upper hand. People want to hear stories about healing. No one likes to see the “backstage”.
Instead, getting to know what’s behind the scenes is essential. Showing sufference is not a way to draw attention. It’s rather sign of honesty. A sick person needs to act the way it fits better to him/her. Accepting our true colours is the best way to set out on the path of healing. And, who knows, maybe someone else will hold our hand and start waking with us. So, we would have saved our life. And soemeone else’s one too.