People think that judgment is part of life. Is it true? Well, in order to answer this question, we should think deeper. What is judgment, actually? In psychology, we define judgment as something we think about something or someone. We make up our mind about a certain topic or situation. And we do it basing ourselves on our personal life experience. So, let’s focus on this last adjective: personal. If life is something personal, how can our thoughts be universal? And how can we accept them in all their shades? Sometimes judgment hurts. Or even kill. That’s what happens with toxic positivity.

What is toxic positivity?

“It could be worse”. “Stop complaining”. “It’s gonna be fine”. Do these sentences sound familiar you? Well, welcome to 2021’s society. Breaking news: the whole world wants you happy. But, be careful. You can’t choose the kind of happiness that fits you better. You have to put a smile on your face. Even if covered by a mask. You have to be strong. Belive in yourself. Strive to achieve your success. And, obviously, people needs to know. So, you also have to share everything on social media. In order to show the world who you are. That’s one of the biggest lies we tend to believe. The truth is not readble between the lines of Facebook or Instagram. Someone, who knows who, convinced us about the existence of perfection. And, other than that, most of us see it as something to achieve. It doesn’t how. We just have to.

The main problem

So, here’s what happens. We spend so much timeTrying to modify our way of living in order to conquere perfection. Convincing ourselves that we just have to reach a certain aim. Well, here’s one more breaking news: it doesn’t exist. That imaginary state of mind that just makes us fall in love with existence is just not human. Of course, we can find happiness. We just have to accept that it doesn’t come on its own. It rather joins us with its lights and shadows. So, let’s just be honest. “It’s okay not to be okay”. Do you remember this Demi Lovato’s song? It tells us one of the truest facts of life. A part of reality that we hide too many times. Suffering exists. We all struggle for something. Life can be harsh. It is capable to tear us down.

Sleep deprivation obstructs the “cleanness” of the brain

What about optimism?

And it’s important to recognize it. By the way, acceptance doesn’t mean being okay with pain. It simply includes a specific kind of consciousness. The one that makes us realize that every single shade of our mind is worth to be explored. Even those emotions that seem difficult to process. In mental health, there’s no right or wrong. The surrounding environment stimulates our brain. And it reacts in its own way. It’s partly about chemistry. And, of course, partly due to our personal approach. So, let’s move a step forward. We have to discern toxic positivity from optimism. People often get confused about those two terms. So, let’s clarify it. Optimism is nothing but a personal way to see and live life.

Toxic positivity: we can be heroes, not just for one day

Being optimist doesn’t mean avoiding pain. Quite the opposite, this “State of mind” frequently comes from a deep grief. Other than that, we have to add an additional missing puzzle piece. Since, as we said before, it arises from inside, we can consider optimism as something strictly personal. That’s why we can’t pass it down. So, what can we do? That’s simple. The key word is: listening. When someone openn him/herself up, let’s just listen. Let’s hugh. Let’s comfort and help. Maybe we won’t be able to solve every kind of problem. On the other hand, we can represent a little step closer to healing. We should always remember that words can kill or cure. Why choosing to hurt someone, when we have the chance to save him/her? Let’s just be human.


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